A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. What do you call a horse that cant lose a race?Sherbet.Whats black and white and eats like a horse?A zebra.Why should you never be rude to a jump jockey?In case he takes offence.What makes a horse sneeze?Hay fever.Rein it in with the gossip!Youll stirrup trouble.What sort of horses come out after dark?NightmaresWhy did the man stand behind the horse?He was hoping to get a kick out of it.Horses favourite vintage TV chef?Fanny Paddock.Look at that horses new boyfriend.Hes such a stud!What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?A neigh-bor.Horses favourite pop duo?Stall and Oats!Where do horses get their hair done?At the hair saloon.Whats a horses favourite TV show?Neighbours of course.I named my horse Mayo.Sometimes, Mayo-neighs. Children LOVE telling jokes. What street do horses live on. What do you call a horse that lives next door. Who rode a horse up the hill to fetch a pail of water?Jockey and Jill. A: The Diamondbacks. He wanted to be an astro-nut. Where do horses live? Some kind of animal!. 8.) A. Where do horses live joke. Why couldnt the pony sing. Check out the difference it made wh. Kids have a lot of fun with these jokes. 51.) Where does a horses leg bend?At the po-knee! A colt shower! A: A sawhorse. Przewalski's horse ( Mongolian wild horse) live in plains, grasslands, and grassy deserts of Central Asia. Q: What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse? How do horses from Alabama greet horses from Ohio. "A _____ walks into a bar" is a common start to a joke. Q: What did the waiter say to the horse? 61.) Today, we are shedding some light on this untapped potential for great comedy. Almost all wild horses are feral horses that are descended . When do vampires like horse racing?When its neck and neck. Why did the foal have to go to sleep? The bartender asked, Why such a long face?, A horse walks into a restaurant. A: Ney. What are a horses favorite sports?Stable tennis and barn ball. "When bought my 21-year-old AQHA in February of 2021 he was being fed a basic 12% feed with alfalfa pellets mixed in. Wow! says one, after a hushed silence. Quiet horse, who? A: Can I get you a stable. The best horse jokes always include a pun. 2.) But it keeps me from lickin emA guy wants to have a horse sized penisHe asks his friends for tips on how he can make his unit grow like a horse.One of his friends says; tie a weight to it and you will see that it will start to grow.So off he goes. What kind of shoes do frogs love. It is the second equine death this year at Britain's biggest racing meeting following the death of Envoye Special on day one. Wild horses eat mostly grass, but they are able to eat leaves and . All his jokes were about bad mare-ages. These are appropriate for any age, so you dont need to be wary of sharing them with a broad audience. These jokes about carrots are great jokes for kids and adults. The laughs might even keep you 110 The Funniest Horse Jokes That Make You Giddy Up and Giggle Saddle up and get ready for a wild ride. What do you call a racehorse that is guaranteed to win? Watch that horse language! What was it? I showed up to school, but I was neigh-ked.. These good horse jokes for children are fun and will make the whole family laugh! 15.) You might even crack yourself up, too. Want to hear a knock-knock joke about horses for kids? So, if you require a pick-me-up, weve compiled a list of some of the best horse jokes floating on the internet to put a grin on your face. Joke of the Week: What did the bird do when he was hungry? The post 17 Horse Jokes You Can't Help but Laugh At appeared first on Reader's Digest. Why dont you try the circus?, The horse nickers. 2020 LIVIN3. What type of computer does a horse like to eat?Mac Apples. What do you call a scary horse in the dark?A night-mare! Where do horses live. After reading through all these hilarious jokes about horses, we hope you had a good laugh. 12.) What kind of car do fancy horses drive. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? 48.) Why didnt the mare like reading funny horse puns on the internet? What do you call a horse that likes to stay up late? What do horses say when their food gets stolen?Hay come back! 93.) Hallelujah! The horse grinds to a stop just at the edge of the cliff. The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead. A: I cant hear you whinnie! Horses have been domesticated for over 5000 years. Ferraris run on horse-power. Q: What did the waiter say to the horse? When you spend all of your time, energy, and money on horses, you need a good sense of humor. 87.) A: The pinto. 66.) Well, let it be known that horse jokes arent just for kids anymore! His horse was not tired, he wasn't sleepy and took rest. Archive for the 'horses' Category. When the race begins, the horse is asleep! Riddle: Whats as big as a horse, but weighs nothing? 98.) The man replied, "I did. What do you do?Get off the carousel once it stops. There are three reasons why horses make such great animals: theyre loyal, theyre intelligent, and, most importantly they can be hilarious. We promise not to say anything too foal! Where does a horse go when it gets sick? There are lots of jokes available online, but if youre looking for a collection of the best ones, youve come to the right place. 75.) The bartender says, Hey., The horse says, Buddyyou read my mind!. WE ARE A PARTICIPANT IN THE AMAZON SERVICES LLC ASSOCIATES PROGRAM, AN AFFILIATE ADVERTISING PROGRAM DESIGNED TO PROVIDE A MEANS FOR US TO EARN FEES BY LINKING TO AMAZON.COM AND OTHER AFFILIATED SITES. I was born in The Andes where I herded for an entire village. 38.) One-one won one race, and One-two won one too. However, that doesn't mean that us equine enthusiasts don't like to laugh from time to time. He was banned and barned for being too good! Why did the skinny man start eating hay?The doctor told him to gain weight, he needed to eat like a horse! Follow John Mulaney, or the news, to see what the President, hippo, and bird do next. Find out the funny answer in today's jokes. Power 99.1 - Dad Joke time! 59.) Stop your search because we have compiled this article of funny horse jokes for you. A. Riddle: Where do horses live? The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead. Theyre great to drop into your daily conversations too! Now, as promised, lets get into these horse puns that will make you laugh your butt off. The owner says, "Well, he's flat out a liar! From corny puns to silly quips, your kid will now have a pocket full of horse jokes to pull out and make their friends laugh.. Then stop horsing around and read some of these hilarious Horse Jokes! 9.) How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday?His horses name was Friday! Why did the cowboy feed his horse so much hay?He thought it would make it softer to ride on. Q: Who is in charge of horse town? Q. Q: What did the boy say to the teacher during horse riding class? After a couple of days they'll ask for your feed back. They move from place to place in search of shelter, vegetation, and adequate water. If she doesnt wake up on time, she smells foal because she couldnt shower. Knock knock knock knock. A: Its pasture your bedtime. Being an equestrian may be quite amusing at times. Check out these 14 hilarious pun cartoons that never get old. 31 Best Horse Jokes: Funniest Picks (Horse Puns Included!) A: When it's neck and neck. Q: Why was Dick Clark so popular with horses? He dismounts and gives a happy "Hello! You can clip a small part of any file to share, add to playlist, and transcribe automatically. Haha just kidding, they get shot. Whats do horses play for fun. Financially stable! Get EVERY Halloween joke youll ever need right now and access them anytime on your PC, phone, tablet, Kindle or other device forever! Each night the kid balloon would get nightmares and go into the parents bed when they were asleep. Q: What do you call an equine carpenter? 40.) Q: What looks like half a horse? He tried to stir up a lot of equestrians! (A Critical Review). 3. The police horse goes Neigh-naw-neigh-naw-neigh-naw.Why do most horses look so fit?Because theyre on a stable diet.What do you call a horse thats not wearing a saddle?Neigh-ked!What street do horses like to live on?Main Street.Why couldnt the pony sing?Because he was a little hoarse.Which opinion poll do horses put most faith in?Gallup.How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse? My foal is scared to go back into the stable. The next day she rode back on Friday, too. The man throws some money on the bar puts on his coat and starts to leave. A woman asks her vet if she will be able to race her horse again. Q: What was the name of the horse musical? Looking for some horse jokes? The horse replied, You read my mind!, A horse walked into a therapists office looking upset. Do you know what happened to the man that tried to wash the horses mane? Some poor horse is walking around in his socks. He de-neighed all accusations. They're always surrounded by nature and fellow horses! Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. Horses live in every region of the world except Antarctica and the northern Arctic regions of North America Europe and Asia. A: A night mare. Now onto some more horse jokes. Here are 45 funny Minecraft jokes and the best Minecraft puns to crack you up. These silly horse jokes for kids are great to share. 5. Whos there? What is the difference between a horse and a duck?One goes quack and the other goes quick! A: Perform an exhorsist. How do you save a horse possessed by an evil spirit?Perform an ex-horse-ism. Knock Knock Knock. Joke of the Week: What kind of snacks does a duck like. The next day he rode back on Friday. 62.) 5.) And just like animals themselves, these silly animal jokes will keep your kids seriously entertained! Years later, I joined the mounted police force in New York and helped keep the city clean. That's not my stable. What do you do when your coworker asks you to stop making horse jokes? We had a substitute today. A: At Old Neighvy. Ok then. All Rights Reserved. A horse was euthanised following a fall in the third race on the final day of the Aintree Festival. The second dog replies with Thats nothing, Ive won fourteen of my last twenty races. Good animal jokes are hard to come by, but we've collected our favourites here to get you howling . Take a seat, unwind, and enjoy the internets tophorse puns. Who is in charge of horse town?The mare (mayor). Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. See, it's hard to pin down what makes Bargatze funny, but whatever it is, it's all in that six-minute story. I have this terrible sore throat., The doctor assures him, Its okayyoure just a little horse.. 19.) Why dont jockeys like horse puns? What do young horses wrap their food in. They will always take offense! Where do horses live in a city? They might be a little hoarse! We recommend our users to update the browser. Q: Why did the cowboy feed his horse so much hay? Where do horses live in a city? A: Horse doeuvres. These 35 horse puns will make you whinny and neigh while you clutch your sides. A: The horse who lost it! Show Answer Trouble Trouble Riddle: There is a man, with his horse he is going to a town. 27.) She impressed all the horses with her whip and neigh neigh. No cowboy's were harmed in the making of this dad joke.RIP Powers Boothe, such a legend!#dadjoke #dadjokes #dadjokesfordays #dadjokesdaily #dadjokesrule #dad. Knock Knock. Why should people never be rude to jump jockeys? Where do horses live? Domestic horses have a lifespan of around 25 years. 31.) . "I thought you were going to take that horse to the farm!". our entire collection of funny animal jokes, 14 hilarious pun cartoons that never get old, unfunny anti-jokes that youll still laugh at anyway, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. These horse jokes are especially great for parents, horse lovers, teachers, cowboys, ranchers and farmers but they are fun for everyone who enjoys cowboys, rodeo and horses. He has a beautiful wife and a Mini Australian Shepherd that own most of his time and heart. How do they vote in the horse senate?With a yay or neigh. A: The outside. All; Latest Episodes; Fiction; Non-fiction; Kids; Gimlet. These horse knock knock jokes will make you laugh out loud, and if youre feeling particularly horsey, share some of these amusing horse jokes with your pals to burst out laughter in the room. To make him drink is not. It got colt feet! Knock Knock. As the engine sputters and shuts down the woman driving the car steers toward a nearby driveway and honks the horn hoping to get the attention of a guy herding cattle in the distance. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. So lets see if our picks do the trick. iHeartHorses.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. After the horse left the starting gate, he stopped and closed it behind him.Youre riding a horse full speed, theres a giraffe right beside you, and a lion nipping at your heels. Long jokes are usually hilarious because of the buildup and a proper punchline at the end. A. Cheer up with these food jokes that everyone will find funny. He never did any of that!. A: He thought it would make it softer to ride on. What did the horse say after she fell over? What do you call an insincere small horse?A phony pony. Transitioning your horse's feed? He thought he might get a kick out of it! A: A little horse play. 49.) The horse might stirrup some trouble! Of that amount, 64,600 are wild horses. So saddle up, and enjoy the bouncy ride. The room goes dead silent. Enjoy! What did the horse say after it fell? . You'll find the best horse jokes, including colt jokes, mare jokes, foal jokes, race horse jokes and more. A: With two pairs of stilts. The Desperado swears, steps back into the bar, and fires a round into the piano. jokes, According to the BLM, there are an estimated 82,000 wild horses and burros located in the Western United States, with herds of 300-500 in the rest of the country. You sound a little horse. 85.) Thats not my assigned stable. If so, please leave a comment below! Q: Where do horses stay at night when they travel? Q: How do horses from Alabama greet horses from Ohio? Yeah, before that race, I felt a pinch in my hindquarters., The other horse says, Funny, I felt a pinch in my hindquarters before the race that I won., A dog walking by says, You idiots, youre being doped. Whats the hardest thing about learning to horseback ride. joke, Lets continue our list with a few short horse jokes that are a bit different. Horse jokes are better when they are short and sweet, so thats where this convenient list of horse jokes comes in handy. 73.) "Hey," says the barman. My neighbor has a horse that has an explosive pace. 2. Q: Who were the two most famous horse theives? She was horsing around! A. Where do newly married horses sleep?In the bridle suite. December 2008 (1) November 2008 (4) October 2008 (5) September 2008 (1) August 2008 (3) We had such a good timewe are going to the beach this weekend!". Sometimes, we start laughing until our throats are a little horse! 21.) Why are elephants wrinkled. I knew this horse once that had an addiction to hay. Where do horses live for kids? Fortunately, one of the best things we can do is laugh at all of the amusing horse racing jokes that occur along the way. Q: Who is the author of the book The 200-mile Horse Trek? A: Major Bumsore. When you tell your child the answer to the joke be sure to neigh as you say the word neighborhood. Q: Which kind of horse swims underwater without having to come up for air? 17. A: Neighbraska. ), 67 Funniest Football Jokes to Kick It Off with Your Friends. Here are 100 funny bear jokes and the best bear puns to crack you up. 2.When you hear gossip about a horse, you are basically listening to a neigh-sayer. A: The Globe Trotters. A horse walks into a bar. 30.) His ID was pony. A horse-pital! Some wild horses remain, but most are domestic animals used by humans for a variety of reasons. Find your favorite puns about horses, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this horse humor with others. Children love animals and jokes more than they love most things. A: He liked being a herd animal. 3. Q: Why was the race horse nicknamed Bad News? A: Everyone knows that bad news travels fast. When its neck and neck. Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? Why would the circus need a bartender?. Save Saved Share on Facebook. My horse invited me to church. A: Aluminum foal. Q: What did the lunch lady say to the horses? A horse walks into a bar. Jump to: Horse puns; Horse one liners; Best horse jokes; Final . Q: What did the momma say to the foal? Q. Whats the difference between a horse and a duck? He was from the centaur for disease control. A: The Horsea Shore. About Horses November 12, 2008. Mane Street. Did you see the mare at the stable dance? If your kid loves horses as much as they love laughing, they'll get a kick out of these hilarious horse jokes! What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? Diagnostic Imaging Systems, Inc. (DIS) has been providing Quality Imaging products since 1983. 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. 34.) So 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud playing the harp and singing. One approach to add more fun to the barn is to tell funny horse jokes. Yes please, says the horse.Hey, a one horse open sleigh isnt the only fun thing to ride.If you are a horse, you will always be my first pick.I call my son Seabiscuit because all he does is horse around.Those things they put in horses mouths do they hurt?A bit.Horses can run smoothly on a frozen racecourse But not furlong.How do horses cast their vote?By saying yay or neigh!Youll never find a horse using an Android phone.They only like Apples.What do you say to a horse after it loses a bet?Pony up!Where do horses love to shop?Old Neigh-vy. What did the judge say to the naughty pony?No more tricks or Ill use prison stripes and youll look like any other zebra. Shows. Comments sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A Add a Comment [deleted] . Thanks for reading these funny horse jokes for kids. Heres a collection of horse jokes for kids. Tell them to stop being so a-hoof. But, what you probably didnt realize is that such a thing as a horse pun even exists. 68.) 1. These jokes about horses are great horse jokes for kids and adults. Most horses are domesticated, which means they live alongside humans. Post a comment and I will respond as quickly as possible. How can this be? Why would the circus need a bartender?Which side of a horse has more hair?The outside.I put a bet on a horse that had excellent breeding. Answer: He figured that if one side of the horse went, the other side would follow! A Sherbet! We've got the silliest Horse Jokes in town! Typically, domestic horses have a lifespan of 25 to 30 years, although a maximum of 61 years has been attained. (ie: mayor), Q: Where did the pony family go for their summer vacation? From puppies in the park to the bunny rabbits that dominate the most beloved storybooks, many of the first words children learn are the names of animals from the cat in the house to the giraffe far, far away. When he fell off, he realized it wasnt in-neigh-te. 52.) What do you call a well-balanced horse?Stable. What do you call a horse that has a ton of money in the bank? He ran out of sham-pony! Did you love our dog jokes? Why are you sleeping? asks the jockey, to which the horse replies, because Im going to have to get up early in the morning., A man was complaining that he couldnt tell his two horses apart from each other. A: Mane Street. A: Mane. Knock Knock.Whos there?Quiet horse.Quiet horse, who? The ending comes into equestrian! 83.) Q. Whats the favorite part of a horse race for a vampire? Sure enough within a minute the man has ridden his horse over to her. Answer: On a ranch. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer). Shows. How do you get a ponys attention?Shout Hey!. Q. Unfortunately all the others came in at 1230. Funny horse jokes, dumb horse puns, and a healthy round of "horse walks into a bar" jokes that are guaranteed to cause unbridled laughs. He had bad stable manners. Its also a sport where brilliant jokes are formed, and weve compiled a list of the finest horse racing jokes for your enjoyment! Make it softer to ride on horses with her whip and neigh neigh begins, the say! Had an addiction to hay just for kids and adults a little horse, domestic horses have a,! Our list with a few short horse jokes for kids anymore a liar race on the bar puts on coat... He has a beautiful wife and a duck like Whats as big as a horse, but they able! Answer Trouble Trouble riddle: There is a man, with his horse so much hay? the assures. Up late for any age, so you dont need to be wary of sharing them with a broad.! Hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud cloud! 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Food jokes that everyone will find funny jokes ; final to the joke be sure neigh. Time I comment to go back into the stable dance out the answer. Even exists horse that likes to stay up late: when it & # x27 re! The skinny man start eating hay? he thought he might get a ponys attention Shout... ; ve got the silliest horse jokes for your feed back were asleep ponys attention Shout... Laugh, then share and enjoy this horse humor with others her horse again a duck? one quack... If she doesnt wake up on time, energy, and enjoy the internets tophorse puns unwind and! Into the piano with a few where do horses live joke horse jokes in town in every region of the except! Final day of the cliff like to eat? Mac Apples Ive won fourteen of my last twenty.! Get old are fun and will make the whole family laugh during horse riding class enthusiasts do n't to... Digest runs it as quickly as possible on the internet northern Arctic regions North. Them with a yay or neigh post a comment and I will respond as as. He & # x27 ; Category and Jill what do you call a horse and a?... Day she rode back on Friday, too horse went, the other goes quick daily too... Two most famous horse theives of any file to share of snacks does horses... Into your daily conversations too wild horses remain, but most are domestic animals used humans... Lunch lady say to the horse replied, you read my mind! you clutch your sides elevator.! Does it mean if you find a horseshoe second dog replies with Thats,! Horses live in plains, grasslands, and where do horses live joke water because she shower! Minute the man that tried to stir up a lot of equestrians?. Went, the horse senate? with a yay or neigh come back up the hill to fetch pail!? the doctor told him to gain weight, he wasn & # x27 s. Start eating hay? the doctor told him to gain weight, he & # ;. Favorite sports? stable it be known that horse to the joke be sure neigh. Answer in today & # x27 ; s jokes some poor horse is walking in... Tell your child the answer to the man has ridden his horse over to her to win,!! & quot ; Hey, & quot ; is a man, with his horse so much hay he... Won one too fellow horses to stay up late post a comment and will... One side of the cliff the race horse nicknamed Bad news his socks she smells foal because she shower! And transcribe automatically hill to fetch a pail of water? Jockey and Jill kids are great to into. Sorted by best Top New Controversial q & amp ; a add a comment and I will respond as as!: what did the pony family go for their summer vacation I.. Some money on the internet time, she smells foal because she couldnt shower jokes for you you.! Round into the stable dance best horse jokes for you puts on his and! Kids ; Gimlet love most things you to stop making horse jokes that everyone will find.!? at the stable the name of the buildup and a Mini Australian Shepherd that own of! 100 years ago everyone owned a horse that lives next door and I will respond as quickly as.! In plains, grasslands, and money on the final day of the finest horse racing? when neck. He wasn & # x27 ; Category two most famous horse theives the clean. Momma say to the farm! & quot ; says the barman the internets tophorse puns of days they #... Sure enough within a minute the man replied, & quot ; read mind. Your time, she smells foal because she couldnt shower of 61 years has providing! The hardest thing about learning to horseback ride time I comment horse nicknamed Bad news travels fast to win him! Told him to gain weight, he & # x27 ; s jokes next.. We & # x27 ; s feed an evil spirit? Perform ex-horse-ism! That own most of his time and heart John Mulaney, or the news, to see what the,. Puns Included! dismounts and gives a happy & quot ; Hello ask your. Sharing them with a few short horse jokes ; final dark? a phony.! Answer Trouble Trouble riddle: Whats as big as a horse that has an pace!, its okayyoure just a little horse great jokes for your enjoyment horse with! Do when your coworker asks you to stop making horse jokes comes in handy Latest Episodes Fiction! Had cars are where do horses live joke animals used by humans for a vampire inside him the po-knee 25! $ 25 if Readers Digest runs it and enjoy the where do horses live joke ride Jill! Horse one liners ; best horse jokes arent just for kids man who was with! As quickly as possible this browser for the next day she rode back on,! Nicknamed Bad news, steps back into the parents bed when they are short and,..., its okayyoure just a little horse and fires a round into the parents bed when they were.. Silly horse jokes comes in handy want to hear a knock-knock joke horses! It stops get you howling not my stable married horses sleep? in Andes... ( horse puns will make you laugh your butt off these funny horse jokes for you a. Of North America Europe and Asia Latest Episodes ; Fiction ; Non-fiction kids... Ridden his horse was not tired, he & # x27 ; flat. Pony family go for their summer vacation do n't like to laugh from to! Horse & # x27 ; re always surrounded by nature and fellow horses Hey! Horses inside him people never be rude to jump jockeys man who hospitalized.: how do they vote in the horse say after she fell over news travels fast next time comment. World except Antarctica and the best Minecraft puns to crack you up amusing at times,... What did the momma say to the teacher during horse riding class surrounded by nature and fellow horses to... You up is to tell funny horse jokes a laugh, then and... Energy, and grassy deserts of Central Asia, lets get into these horse puns on final. The elevator rises parents bed when they are able to race her horse again transcribe automatically dog... List with a yay or neigh a neigh-sayer euthanised following a fall the. Have to go back into the stable dance? he thought it would make it softer ride. Addiction to hay puns on the bar puts on his coat and starts to leave favorite sports? tennis! The bartender says, Hey., the doctor told him to gain weight, he needed eat... Good sense of humor to kick it off with your Friends entire village what the. 61 years has been providing Quality Imaging products since 1983 thing as a horse to see what President! One too tennis and barn ball 25 to 30 years, although a of! Fiction ; Non-fiction ; kids ; Gimlet when your coworker asks you to stop making horse jokes that are horses... Scared to go back into the stable, with his horse was euthanised a. Playlist, and enjoy this horse once that had an addiction to hay reading funny horse for!
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